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Movie Review by:
Jim "Good Old JR" Rutkowski
Directed by: Neil LaBute
Written by: Neil LaBute, Anthony Shaffer
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Leelee Sobieski, Ellen Burstyn
Running time: 97 minutes,
Released: 09/01/06
Rated PG-13 for for disturbing images
and violence, language and thematic issues |
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 "In
the year 2006, is nothing sacred? A modern-day remake of a
classic film is par for the course in today's Hollywood of
diminishing original ideas, but they should at least show
some respect to their source material. Even with a
well-regarded, independent-minded filmmaker like
writer-director Neil LaBute (2003's "The Shape of Things")
at the helm, "The Wicker Man" does not do this. In fact, it
strips away all that was fascinatingly subtextual and
deliciously provocative about that unforgettably moody 1973
cult masterpiece, and then urinates on its bare corpse. Gone
are almost all mentions of religion and sexuality; this is
quite a feat considering the original was entirely about
these things, taking a progressive look at the dichotomy
between divergent belief systems—Christianity vs.
Paganism—and a sharp, thought-provoking swipe at religious
oppression. Gone, too, are the memorable songs, so
hauntingly complimentary to the images and so strongly tied
to the narrative's thematic foundation that they were just
as much a character as the humans. And, tragically but not
surprisingly, gone is any reason whatsoever for this trashy
re-imagining's existence.
It has been months since California police officer Edward
Malus (Nicolas Cage) failed to save a mother and daughter
after the car they were in was hit by a tractor-trailer. His
cursory leave of absence from the force ends prematurely
when he receives a letter from old flame Willow (Kate Beahan).
It seems her young daughter, Rowan (Erika-Shaye Gair), has
gone missing on the Puget Sound island she calls home, and
she hopes Edward might be able to help get some solid
answers. Happy to hear from Willow and not wanting to let
her down, Edward accepts the invitation. Once in Summersisle,
a secluded matriarchal farming commune, he notices something
is not right about his new surroundings. The women, all
known as "sisters" to one another, rule the roost, while the
men are subservient to their every wish and command. Despite
Edward's unfailing investigation, the residents deny that
they have ever seen Rowan. And everyone bows down to the
guidance of Sister Summersisle (Ellen Burstyn), the leader
of the island. Edward is determined to get to the bottom of
the mystery, and eventually comes to suspect that Rowan is
not only alive, but about to become a human sacrifice in the
town's annual Mayday celebration.
It would be one thing if Neil LaBute solely directed "The
Wicker Man," adapting it from another person's screenplay.
It is quite another to learn that he wrote this terminally
empty-headed and plodding excuse for a script. Whatever he
was thinking, I'll never know. "The Wicker Man" screams of
studio tinkering and suffers from fatally bad ideas. Besides
all of its compelling underlying conceits, the charm of the
original picture was that it defied easy categorization. It
was a mystery, a horror film, a psychological thriller, a
brilliantly orchestrated mood piece and a musical all rolled
into one. The story developed slowly but intriguingly,
rewarding the viewer in spades with a creepy atmosphere that
led toward one of the genre's more chilling climaxes. In
every way possible, it was a truly one-of-a-kind film.
In a clumsy attempt to please a teenage audience who
probably has no idea that this is a remake, the new PG-13
version of "The Wicker Man" has been molded into a more
conventional horror direction. The problem is, the general
plot outline does not warrant this or even logically fit it.
In the place of a thick yet subtly handled pall of mounting
unease and ultimate dread are throwaway jump scares and
recurring nightmare sequences harkening back to Edward's
guilt over the mother and her daughter who were lost in the
car accident. It demands to be noted that this backstory
leads nowhere, and continual reminders that their bodies
were never found from the wreckage is pointless since the
subplot is abruptly dropped at the start of the third act.
Other scenes, like the ones where Edward chases children's
whispers into barns and watery crypts, only call attention
to how desperate and creatively bankrupt the film is, and
how misguided and shallow writer-director Neil LaBute's take
on the story is.
In the place of a community of proud and sexually free
Pagans is a community of loony, bee-worshiping feminist
hippies whose religion is never actually named. Then again,
it no longer matters, since the Edward of the predecessor, a
devout Christian and virgin who was tempted by the
townspeople's loose ways, has been neutered into an average
guy with no religious background or identity beyond his
profession as a cop. This latter change is a woeful
miscalculation on LaBute's part, since Edward's stringent
beliefs and his denial of all things different, or "taboo,"
led to his undoing. The present-day Edward's undoing has
been one-dimensionalized into wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time
bad luck.
The uniformly talented cast are uniformly squandered. At
times, Nicolas Cage appears to be channeling Edward
Woodward, which is as close to a fond tribute as this movie
gives the original. As Willow, Kate Beahan (2005's "Flightplan")
is forced into the role of Cage's love interest. With all of
the goo-goo eyes they make at each other, one would assume
Edward would have time to ask her why the rest of the town
refuses to acknowledge her daughter's existence, but to no
avail. The lead women who make up the Summersisle "Sisters,"
including Molly Parker (2002's "Max") as schoolteacher Rose;
Diane Delano (2003's "Jeepers Creepers 2") as burly barkeep
Beech; Frances Conroy (2005's "Shopgirl") as local doctor
Moss, and Leelee Sobieski (2001's "Joyride") as beautiful,
wood-chopping Honey, show up for a few scenes apiece to look
suspicious and not a whole lot else. Of the actors, it is
Ellen Burstyn's (2002's "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya
Sisterhood") quixotic take on lordship Sister Summersisle
that actually shows some freshness. She is no match for
Christopher Lee, who birthed the part thirty-three years
ago, but that could also be because the role has been
downsized in screen time.
When seeing a remake to a film I hold in high regard, I try
to keep an open mind even as I know comparisons are
inevitable. With "The Wicker Man," everything it does, and
every individual moment it recalls, was superior the first
time around. The original was deliberately paced, but
spellbinding, beautiful and lingeringly eerie. Viewed on its
own terms, this new edition is best described as
lackadaisical, emotionally flat, and, save for the sight of
some of the animal costumes worn in the finale, wouldn't
scare a three-year-old. To add insult to injury is a
thoroughly unnecessary and insulting epilogue that serves to
show off two surprise cameos and dissipate whatever feelings
of unrest the viewer might have experienced from the
previous scene—a scene that should have led into the credits
had saner minds prevailed. The fact remains that no matter
how many schlocky remakes Hollywood throws at us, the
originals cannot be changed and will happily remain in their
current form. The best advice would be to seek out 1973's
"The Wicker Man" and pretend this frivolous, supremely
ill-advised remake doesn't exist. The world would never miss
it. |
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WICKER MAN
© 2006 Warner Bros.
All Rights Reserved
Review © 2006 Alternate Reality, Inc. |
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