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FANTASTIC FOUR RISE OF THE
SILVER SURFER
REVIEW-A-PALOOZA |
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Movie Reviews by:
Jim "Good Old JR" Rutkowski & Larry
"Bocepheus" Evans
Directed by: Tim Story
Written by: Don Payne, Mark Frost, John Turman
Starring: Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans
Running time: 91 minutes
Released: 06/15/07
Rated PG for sequences of action
violence, some mild language and innuendo. |
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 Movie Review by:
Larry "Bocepheus" Evans
(**½
stars out of 4)
"screenwriters
Don Payne and Mark Frost often pass things like exposition
and character development by."
The second film of the Fantastic Four comes from the same
director (Tim Story) and has an outline from someone who
worked on the first script (Twin Peaks’ Mark Frost) and that
is why this version comes off as more of the same.
Apparently the idea is to make the FF as kid friendly as
humanly possible so the film has no edge whatsoever.
The film begins with the death of a planet and the viewing
of a silver streak coming from it. That streak is the Silver
Surfer (voiced by Lawrence Fishburne) but we don’t know that
yet because on Earth everyone is wondering if Reed
Richards (Ioan Gruffudd, who has a good take on his
character) and Sue Storm (Jessica Alba, so blonde she is
golden) are going to get married after trying and failing
three times before. The FF lives in an updated Baxter
Building and are dealing with their celebrity status with
Johnny Storm (Chris Evans, who is having the most fun here)
enjoying it the most. The fact that they are celebrities is
one of the few things that works in this film because since
the other Marvel characters are off in their own franchises
there is no crossover. So in their world there is no
Spider-Man, no X-Men, and no Hulk, just them.
The silver streak has gotten to Earth by now and is digging
out these huge holes in certain areas for some reason. Its
arrival has gotten a former friend of Reed’s-Army General
Haynes (Andre Braugher) and his team which includes Frankie
Raye to visit them and ask for help locating the streak.
Reed turns them down because he is going to get married but
is secretly building a cosmic ray detector without Sue’s
knowledge. All this sets up the first major action sequence
in the film, the arrival of the Surfer. The sequence is well
done and the Surfer/Johnny chase allows us to see how
powerful he is.
Of course, you had to have Doctor Doom (Julian
McMahon) at some point and we see that Victor was uncrated
from the end of the last film and is set up in Latveria with
the rest of the unwanted furniture from New York. It isn’t
made clear but we have to assume that the Surfer’s arrival
had something to do with Doom's awakening. We are told that
contact with the Surfer had an effect on Johnny’s powers
(contact with the Surfer allows Johnny to switch abilities
with anyone on the team by touching them) so that would make
sense since Victor got his powers back from cosmic rays as
well.
As the film progresses we learn more about what the Surfer
is here for and get to see Victor normal (unscarred) again
after he also encounters the Surfer. All five are needed to
capture the Surfer. That’s framed by an action sequence in
London and the torture of the Surfer in a Gitmo style camp
that sets up a pretty cool battle sequence set in China with
Doom in his new and improved armor. We also have the arrival
of Galactus to deal with and the introduction of the
Fantasticar. The Galactus stuff is pretty well done and we
never see what he looks like but there is a visual hint the
first time we see him/it that he may look like what he/it
does in the comics. We don’t see the Ultimate Nullifier here
but the conclusion is the same and Earth is spared.
Rise of the Silver Surfer isn’t a horrible film by any
means. It zips along quickly and screenwriters Don Payne and
Mark Frost often pass things like exposition and character
development by. The two cobble the major points of the film
from the first and second appearances of the Surfer (his
arrival and Doom stealing his powers) and mix it with the
eventual marriage of Reed and Sue. We do get to see the team
using their powers well but Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis)
isn’t given much to do here except in the well done London
scene where he lifts a merry go round. He has left the angst
seen over his life changes apparently left on the cutting
room floor in this 92-minute film. The action sequences are
extremely well done and the film looks great but there isn’t
much else here. It’s a pleasant afternoon/evening in the
theater and something you sort of forget hours after seeing
it but do remember that you sort have liked it. There will
be another film because the film will do well enough on
video and overseas to make up for whatever shortcomings the
film will have domestically. Story has been given the task
of adapting Andy Diggle and Jock’s Vertigo series The Losers
so you would hope that he is too busy to work on the next
one but if he does return he wants to introduce the Black
Panther. Fox has already commissioned a stand-alone Surfer
film that will be written by FF comic writer J. Michael
Straczynski that will be more adult oriented than this one.
Maybe they can ask him to do the next F4 film as well. |
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 Movie Review by:
Jim "Good Old JR" Rutkowski.
(*½
stars out of 4)
"...a badly written,
lazily directed, woefully miscast, generally stupid and
dull effort."
Despite a box office haul large enough
to warrant a sequel, the 2005 comic book flick “Fantastic Four” was
ridiculed by many for being a badly written, lazily directed,
woefully miscast, generally stupid and dull effort in which the
superheroes spent more time talking about doing things than actually
doing them. To remedy this, the makers of the follow-up, “Fantastic
Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer,” go out of their way to ensure that
this one is instead a badly written, lazily directed, woefully
miscast, generally stupid and dull effort in which the superheroes
spent more time talking about doing things than actually doing them.
So there you go.
The filmmakers are counting so much on its newest character to
rescue their potential franchise that they even forget to include
the words “Fantastic Four” in the title card. (Instead, we get a “4”
logo and the subtitle.) Fans, meanwhile, have managed to see the
arrival of their favorite Marvel Comics hero - a stoic hero made of
silver who cruises the stars on a cosmic surfboard - as a reason to
forget exactly why they hated the first movie. In other words,
expectations on both ends were mysteriously, ridiculously high (or,
at least, not as low as they otherwise would be for a sequel to a
flick as poorly received as “Fantastic Four”).
But, as mentioned, “Surfer” is just as lousy on every level as its
predecessor. Even its efforts to tone things down action-wise to
make things more kid-friendly backfire: the first third of the film
is depressingly action-free. (Side note: The film earns a PG rating
solely on the merits of its more jocular tone and not on the basis
of any actual content. The less-violent first movie earned a PG-13.
We’re once again reminded of the uselessness of the MPAA.)
We spend thirty full minutes watching the build-up to the wedding of
Reed “Mr. Fantastic” Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) and Sue “The Invisible
Woman” Storm (Jessica Alba). Limp jokes are made about how every
time they plan a wedding, something goes wrong and they have to
cancel. Meanwhile, a strange cosmic blur has been streaking across
the planet, causing all sorts of surprisingly uninteresting
occurrences - rivers are turned to stone, there’s snow in the desert
- and the U.S. military wants Reed to help investigate. With the
fate of the world at stake, Reed declines, as he has a wedding to
plan! (Apparently, when you’re getting engaged, you’re not allowed
to do anything for weeks other than pick out china patterns.) So
instead of anything adventurous or suspenseful, we instead get stuck
watching Reed attend his bachelor party, which includes - what else?
- a disastrously unfunny dance sequence in which Reed does a little
disco. Oh, the humanity.
There’s also a subplot about how the team is still a little
financially strapped, leading Johnny to deck out his superhero suit
with corporate logos, NASCAR-style. He is admonished for this by the
team, who find his stunt distasteful. And yet the film itself is
peppered with product placement: Reed’s PDA-like portable computer
is a Nokia; the “FantastiCar” - one of the most iconic images of the
comic series - now showcases a Dodge logo. I’m surprised the Silver
Surfer didn’t pause to say a few words about his good friends at
JetSki.
Anyway. After the longest thirty minutes in comic book movie
history, the big day finally arrives, and even those who haven’t
seen the trailer know that it’ll get interrupted. The strange cosmic
blur is the Silver Surfer, and he’s headed for the Big Apple. Johnny
“The Human Torch” Storm (Chris Evans) spends a quick few minutes
chasing him around town, thus finally providing an anxious audience
with a healthy dose of Something Actually Happening.
It’s short lived, of course, and, aside from a clumsily-added
subplot involving archvillain Dr. Doom (Julian McMahon) being
accidentally revived by the Surfer’s cosmic powers, we spend the
next half hour watching as the team - which also includes Ben “The
Thing” Grimm (Michael Chiklis) - hang out in their headquarters as
they study Johnny, who, after touching the Surfer, now has the
cosmic ability to swap his superpowers with anyone he touches. This
leads to a series of cheap comedy moments where we get to watch
Johnny turn into the Thing, or Sue become the Human Torch, etc. It’s
the sort of novelty gimmick usually saved for later on in a
franchise, when the producers are becoming increasingly desperate
for ways to keep the series fresh; that they’d haul this trick out
now, in the second film, suggests they have no clue how to manage a
potential Part Three.
The final third of the film eventually picks up steam with a
par-for-the-franchise dull-as-dirt action sequence in London, a set
piece involving a ferris wheel that makes you long for the
absurdities of a similar scene in “Catwoman.” It’s pointless, but at
least it’s loud, and that’ll wake everyone up. A few more
aggravating pauses in the action later, the Army captures the
Surfer, which leads Dr. Doom to steal the surfboard, thus giving the
bad guy all the Surfer’s powers. Ah, finally, something’s happening!
Alas, as with the first movie, there’s no weight to any of these
action set pieces. We’re tossed a showdown between Doom and Johnny,
all while a gigantic space cloud named Galactus (a far cry from the
actual humanoid villain from the comics, but I understand the change
here, as the killer cloud is more cinematically dynamic. NOT!)
prepares to destroy Earth. Again, director Tim Story (who also
helmed the first movie) confuses loud with exciting, and so the
finale becomes yet another uninteresting, too-late-to-count mishmash
of superhero action.
It’s not just the uneventful screenplay (from Don Payne and Mark
Frost) that makes “Surfer” a crummy movie. Story’s direction is as
lifeless and insipid as it was in the first “Four,” and his efforts
to push broad comedy over genuinely interesting goings-on turns the
movie into an embarrassment. (Even the obligatory cameo from “FF”
creator Stan Lee is clumsily handled and cringe-worthy.) His cast,
then, offers nothing to rescue the project, especially Alba, who
again turns her super-scientist character into a bubblehead who’s
easily distracted by shiny objects, and McMahon, who again turns his
ultimate villain character into a whiny, unthreatening weasel who
across less like Darth Vader and more like Owen Wilson.
The filmmakers top all of this by casting Laurence Fishburne as the
voice of the Surfer. (The CGI body - and it looks CGI, with the
mouth never really matching the voice - was created by Doug Jones
working as a body stand-in.) The Surfer is presented as this
otherworldly, mysteriously cosmic being, and his voice should have
an ethereal quality to it. And while the actor tries to restrain his
tone (and gets points for a solid effort), Fishburne’s booming bass
is all wrong for the character.
But would we expect a “FF” movie to get anything right? Of course
not. The idea behind the Surfer character - after saving his own
planet from destruction from Galactus, he must now travel the
universe looking for planets for it to devour; he ultimately rejects
his master after being inspired by the humanity of Earth - is filled
with enough grand wonder to make for a terrific sci-fi epic. But in
the hands of the “FF” team, it’s reduced to sloppy nothingness. The
entire Surfer back story is reduced to a couple lines of rushed
dialogue, implying a greater emotional weight without ever actually
having to handle it. The revelation that the Surfer is not a villain
is equally hurried and mishandled; perhaps the writers figured fans
already know he’s a good guy, so why bother with the rouse any
longer than they need to? The Surfer’s redemption, then, seems more
like the mechanics of a desperate plot than the result of any
character development. Even the title gets it wrong: the Surfer
never “rises” but merely just kinda shows up. Tim Story once again
lacks the ability to fill us with any sense of wonder at the grand
events in play.
Sadly, throughout all of this, “Surfer” doesn’t even have the
courtesy to be eye-rollingly awful, like its predecessor. Instead,
this sequel is only bland and boring. We can’t even be bothered to
laugh at it. “Surfer” is a “Fantastic Four” movie that thinks it’s
smarter and more adventurous, when it’s really just one major drag.
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FANTASTIC
FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER © 20th Century Fox
All Rights Reserved
Review © 2007 Alternate Reality, Inc. |
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